Martin (Ontological Difference) Heidegger

The Talking "BEING and TIME" Toilet Roll-Holder is this years hottest entertaining gag gift! A heavily accented German voice reads Heidegger's fiction to you whilst you sit and meditate as to its elemental stupidity. It comes complete (at a small extra cost) with kind-to-the-skin medicated cotton-wool soft Matching Paper-Rolls overprinted with the original obfuscational text to provide the ultimate satisfaction and comfort. Sit and Laugh as the words are read out to you or wipe your posterior on the turgid text simultaneously.

Ready-to-Roll Add-on Messages (choice of four) (available at a small extra cost) inserted after every paragraph a reminder can also come in very handy to urge the kids to wash their hands after going to the bathroom,  or advize adults to put the seat down to keep your toddler from splashing the carpet.

Hilarious way to surprise your friends and at the same time impress them with the advanced level of your "Cultural Awareness." Amaze your neighbours with the fact that you acknowledge Heidegger's "Great Work" as the most popular brand of: 

                       "Thinking Man's Toilet-Paper."

• Easy to record and re-record your own messages
• Fits all toilet paper roll holders
• Installs in seconds... years of fun!
• Convenient on/off switch - comes complete with
• Bonus  * Bonus * Bonus * Bonus
•  Free Recording of "Hustler" Husserl's
• "Goals and Tasks of Metaphysics"
• (Considered Excellent For Sphincteral Relaxation)
• It's like having your own Private Bathroom Philosopher / Comedian!