THE MOST DISTINGUISHED ORDER
 OF ST MICHAEL AND ST GEORGE

Three great-great-great uncles sought their fortunes in the orient –

Rodney, Christopher and Luke Shorthouse

(known in the Service as the three Shortarses

who left their bones east of Suez).

Before their deaths a grateful monarch awarded them

knighthoods in the Most Distinguished Order

of St Michael and St George (MG to you).

From their black and white portraits they seem

to look back at the present from under their stiff collars

embroidered with a Maltese cross and a winged lion of St Mark,

their sashes – who knows what colour? –

girding them for their world-saving tasks.

Rodney, who was to be Companion, was for years

the Acting Resident in Hyderabad

and shadow of three reigning Nizams.

When widowed he went native

and took an Andhra Pradeshi woman

to console his loneliness.

Yet, because she came in the night

like a shadow from the Nizam’s palace,

no word of scandal reached home,

and he became Sir Rodney Shorthouse CMG

(Call me God).¹

Christopher, who was to be Knight Commander,

worked as colonial secretary in Singapore,

doing all the right things from polo to collecting uniforms;

he learned to mix an incredible gin and tonic

and knew how to treat natives with discretion.

He married the Hon. Priscilla Potts,

and they had many gin and tonics together.

Before cirrhosis set in, he was to be Sir Christopher Shorthouse KCMG

(Kindly call me God).¹

The oldest scion of this illustrious short house was Luke

and its brightest star;

he was to end up as Knight Grand Cross.

His entry in Who’s Who was swollen with honorific capitals:

CIE, CSI, KCIE, GCIE and KCMG

as he progressed round the subcontinent

from Political Adviser in Mysore

to Member of the Board of Revenue, Rawalpindi,

from Governor of Bombay up to the Hymalayan peak of his career –

Viceroy of India; the punkahs ruffled his plumes

and the sun rose and set on his frogging of gold thread.

When he reached this altitude,

an appreciative sovereign gave Sir Luke Shorthouse

the crown of his honours, the GCMG

(God calls me God)

The Shorthouses were not skyscrapers,

but they had a well developed sense of duty

(specially that of the native servants

and the lower castes generally)

as well as a genuine talent for dressing up.

But now the sun no longer rises.