Mullah Nasruddin Nasruddin (Nasreddin) lived in Anatolia, Turkey; he was born in Hortu Village in Sivrihisar, Eski_ehir in the 13thcentury, then settled in Ak_ehir, and later in Konya, where he died (probably born in 1209 CE and died 1275/6 or 1285/6 CE)[6][9], As generations went by, new stories were added, others were modified, and the character and his tales spread to other regions. The themes in the tales have become part of the folklore of a number of nations and express the national imaginations of a variety of cultures. Although most of them depict Nasreddin in an early small-village setting, the tales (like Aesop's fables) deal with concepts that have a certain timelessness. They purvey a pithy folk wisdom that triumphs over all trials and tribulations. The oldest manuscript of Nasreddin was found in 1571.

asruddin’s neighbor was a crooked man with a large, bushy moustache and he knew about his financial difficulties. He thought he could take advantage of the situation. “I want to help you, good neighbor. I will buy the house from you, even though I don't really have any interest in it.” The man offered a pitiful price.

Mullah Nasruddin looked delighted and drew a small piece of paper from the folds of his clothing. “God bless you with long life and healthy progeny for this generous gesture! The house shall be yours, as soon as we take care of this little clause in the contract.”

“What clause?" asked the neighbor, suspiciously.

“Only a very small thing. This house was built by my father.”

“A fine gentleman he was. Always paid in cash.”

“And you see here on the wall of the living room — there is one nail sticking out. My father never had the chance to finish hammering it in. He had a heart attack and died.”

“God rests his soul!” The neighbor looked as contrite as he could.

“I therefore request that I be allowed to keep ownership of that nail, and do whatever I want with it.”

The neighbor agreed but explained that he would have to consult his wife before signing.

His wife raised some serious objections. “Why is he going to keep a nail? What does it mean?”

“He just wants to be allowed to keep and ‘worship’ his nail from time to time. That’s all.”

“He is crazy!”

“Maybe so. But we are getting the house for half its value. So what's the problem if he wants to keep a small nail?”

The wife finally relented, the contract was signed, and Mullah Nasruddin moved out.

A month went by. One evening they heard a knock on the door. It was Nasruddin, with head bowed.

“Oh Mullah, where have you been? We were wondering about you,” lied the crooked man.

Nasruddin explained that he had come to worship his nail and the man agreed to let him into the house.

Mullah humbly walked behind the man, bowed in front of the nail, and put his hat on it.

As he was about to leave, the man questioned him. “Hey, hey, what is that doing there?"

“That's my hat.”

“Yes, but you can’t leave it in my house.”

“’course I can” said the Mullah as he headed towards the door. “It is on my nail.”

Two weeks passed before Mullah Nasruddin’s next visit.

“Ah, good morning Mullah. You have come to take back your hat, I presume.”

“No thank you, my dear friend. I have come to worship my nail.” Once again he bowed before the nail and, his worship finished, he hung a scarf with his hat and turned to leave.

The crooked man was not amused but there was nothing he could do when Nasruddin claimed he was worshipping his dead father’s nail. The man sucked the end of his moustache and persuaded himself that this would be the last time, if only because there was nothing more the mad Mullah could possibly hang on the nail. He slammed the door behind the departing pilgrim and hoped his wife wouldn’t be too angry.

A week later Mullah Nasruddin returned and bowed towards the nail. Before turning to leave he took off his coat and hung it on the nail along with the hat and the scarf.

The wife was furious and she upbraided her husband. “Now look what he’s done. He is taking advantage of our kindness. No, advantage of your weakness.”

“But what can I do?” The unhappy husband chewed at the ragged end of his moustache. “We agreed that he can do whatever he wants with his nail. But fear not, pumpkin, now the nail is full.”

The next day, Mullah Nasruddin showed up again. The man tried to shut the door in his face when he saw who it was, but Nasruddin had already placed his foot inside – nothing was going to stop him worshipping his nail.

“Oh God. You again. I do hope this is the last time!” He tugged at the hair on his upper lip.

“Possibly” replied Nasruddin with his usual benign smile. He entered, dragging behind him the carcass of a cow and as he proceeded to hang it on his nail, the wife went mad with rage, and screamed at her husband.

“Get that out of my house or I’m leaving you!”

The husband protested vehemently, “Mullah Nasruddin, this is going too far. We cannot have that.”

“But you signed the contract, good neighbor.”

“Well, we will see about that. Let us have the council of elders make a ruling.”

Soon an assembly of all the wise men of the village had been convened, and the neighbor explained the situation while smearing the few wisps of his once bristling moustache across his upper lip, as though the sprouts hair offended him.

Mullah simply presented the contract, without uttering a word in his defense.

The wise men studied it carefully, and eventually pronounced that the Mullah was perfectly entitled to do as he wished with his nail. There is nothing in the contract that restricted how the nail should be worshipped. The case was therefore dismissed, and the neighbor went home dejected.

After long arguments with his wife and a sleepless night, he begged Mullah to buy his house back, at a bargain price. Nasruddin agreed and they moved out as quickly as possible.

Mullah was once again was able to enjoy his house and his nail, having made a tidy sum of money.

One day Nasruddin, while passing by a place, had a few apricots in his sleeve. He saw some people who were sitting under a tree. Calling them he asked a question, “if any one of you found out what I have in my sleeve, I will give the biggest apricot to him.” One of them said,” If any one answers this question, he's letting himself in for prophecy."

One winter night while Nasruddin was sleeping he heard a noise that was suddenly made in the street. Having covered himself with his blanket, he came out to know the cause of the noise. Suddenly a smart thief robbed him of his blanket and ran away. He came back home without the blanket. In reply to his wife who was asking about the reason for the noise, Nasruddin said, “All the quarrel was about my blanket.”

Nasruddin had a little money. He wanted to hide it some where. At first he dug a hole, kept the money there and covered it with soil. After a while he thought the money was not safe there because it would be discovered soon. He dug another hole and kept the money there. He repeated this action many times. But he was not sure of its security. He removed it out of the last hiding-place. He put the money into a bag and rode on a donkey taking the bag to a hill top near his house. He fixed a stick vertically in the ground and from it suspended the bag. Iooking at it from a distance Nasruddin commented, “Human being is not a bird to come here and steal the bag,” He came back home. Incidentally a man who was watching Nasruddin from a distance took the money from the bag and poured dung of camel into it. After a few days when Nasruddin was in need of cash, he went to find the bag. When he brought the bag down from the stick, he found dung of a camel in it. He got surprised and said, “It is very interesting. How could a camel reach to a place where a person can’t?”

Once Nasruddin took his students to his house and insisted they should have lunch with him. Moment later, he called his wife and ordered her to cook Palaw for the guests as soon as possible. His wife said, “You order so simply as if you have rice and ghee in the house.” Nasruddin became very angry and said: “Can’t you at least bring empty plates? His wife accepted and a few minutes later brought the plates to Nasruddin. He took the empty plates and placed them in front of the guests. “Friends!” he said, “If I had bought rice and ghee, I would have brought you an oily Palaw in these plates.”

Nasruddin was looking at the image of the moon in a well. He thought it was a recompense to take out the moon from the well. Therefore, he threw a rope inside the well and swung it a few times. Incidentally, the tip of the rope got caught to a big stone. He tried to take the rope out. Hence he pulled it with a lot of force. The rope tore off and he fell on his back to the ground. When he looked at the sky, he saw the moon and said, “Doesn’t matter. My efforts were not wasted. Though I faced a lot of difficulties, I finally succeeded to rescue the moon.”

Once Nasruddin went to a hair dresser to get his head shaved. Incidentally, the barber was inexperienced. The moment he cut a part of his scalp, he would put a piece of cotton on the wound. Finally Nasruddin became angry and told the barber, “You planted cotton on half of my head. I would like to grow flax in the remaimng half.”

Once Nasruddin went to a garden and climbed on apricot tree. The gardener observed this and asked him, “Why did you climb someone else’s tree?” Nasruddin answered, “Don’t you know I am nightingale and for nightingales climbing a tree is not a sin.” The gardener laughed and said, “Please sing so I listen and enjoy.” Nasruddin started to sing in his horse voice. The gardener asked him whether nightingale sang so badly. Nasruddin replied, “A nightingale which eats raw apricot will not sing better than this.”

Once a king consulted Nasruddin. “Daring the Abasis and after, khalifs used to add the term “Allah" after their names. What title do you think I should choose for myself? Nasruddin answered “Nawoozobillah” (God forbid).

Because of lack of time Nasruddin went to a judge’s office to divorce his wife. The judge asked him, “What is your wife’s name?” He answered. “I don’t know.” “For how many years havd you remained as spouses?” The judge asked again. He said “More than 20 years”. The judge asked him. “How come you don’t know her name?” Nasruddin answered, “Because I did not have any social relations with her.” Once a person slapped Nasruddin in the street. Later he came hack and started to apologize and said that he had mistaken Nasruddin for some one else. But Nasruddin was not satisfied and took tight hold of his collar, took him to the judge and told the judge about the incident. The judge ordered, “Nasruddin must slap that person to avenge. But Nasruddin didn’t get satisfied. Thus the judge ordered the person to give Nasruddin a gold coin in lieu of the slap. The accused had to go out of the court to bring the gold coin. Nasruddin waited for sometime. The accused didn’t come hack. Nasruddin stood up and slapped the judge on his face and said, “Since I have a lot of work, whenever that person Comes and brings the coin, You take the money for this slap.”

A neighbor who Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."

The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away.

Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray.

The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here.

Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?

One day Nasruddin repaired tiles on the roof of his house. While Nasruddin was working on the roof, a stranger knocked the door.

- What do you want? Nasruddin shouted out.

- Come down, replied stranger So I can tell it.

Nasruddin unwilling and slowly climbed down the ladder.

- Well! replied Nasruddin, what was the important thing?

- Could you give little money to this poor old man? begged stranger.

Tired Nasruddin started to climb up the ladder and said,

- Follow me up to the roof.

When both Nasruddin and beggar were upside, on the roof, Nasruddin said,

- The answer is no!

Nasruddin opened a booth with a sign above it: Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins

A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying:

- A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?

- Yes, said Nasruddin, and the next question, please?

Nasruddin used to stand in the street on market-days, to be pointed out as an idiot. No matter how often people offered him a large and a small coin, he always chose the smaller piece. One day a kindly man said to him:

- Nasruddin, you should take the bigger coin. Then you will have more money and people will no longer be able to make a laughing stock of you.

- That may be true, said Nasruddin, but if I always take the larger, people will stop offering me money to prove that I am more idiotic than they are. Then I would have no money at all.

As Nasruddin emerged form the mosque after prayers, a beggar sitting on the street solicited alms. The following conversation followed:

- Are you extravagant? asked Nasruddin.

- Yes Nasruddin. replied the beggar.

- Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasruddin.

- Yes. replied the beggar.

- I suppose you like to go to the baths everyday? asked Nasruddin.

- Yes. replied the beggar.

- ... And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasruddin.

- Yes I like all those things. replied the beggar.

- Tut, Tut, said Nasruddin, and gave him a gold piece.

A few yards farther on. another beggar who had overheard the conversation begged for alms also.

- Are you extravagant? asked Nasruddin.

- No, Nasruddin replied second beggar.

- Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasruddin.

- No. replied second beggar.

- I suppose you like to go to the baths everyday? asked Nasruddin.

- No. replied second beggar.

- ... And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasruddin.

- No, I want to only live meagerly and to pray. replied second beggar.

Whereupon the Nasruddin gave him a small copper coin.

- But why, wailed second beggar, do you give me, an economical and pious

man, a penny, when you give that extravagant fellow a sovereign?

Ah my friend, replied Nasruddin, his needs are greater than yours.

One day Nasruddin went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his best robe and fur coat and returned. Immediately, the host came over, greeted him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table. When the food was served, Nasruddin took some soup with spoon and pushed it to the his fur coat and said, - Eat my fur coat, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!

One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.

- Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! he mused. Just fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!

Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:

- Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!

At a gathering where Mullah Nasruddin was present, people were discussing the merits of youth and old age. They had all agreed that, a man's strength decreases as years go by. Mullah Nasruddin dissented.

- I don't agree with you gentlemen, he said. In my old age I have the same strength as I had in the prime of my youth.

- How do you mean, Mullah Nasruddin? asked somebody. Explain yourself.

- In my courtyard, explained Mullah Nasruddin, there is a massive stone. In my youth I used to try and lift it. I never succeeded. Neither can I lift it now.

The wit and wisdom of Mullah Nasruddin never leaves him tongue-tied. One day an illiterate man came to Mullah Nasruddin with a letter he had received.

- Mullah Nasruddin, please read this letter to me. Mullah Nasruddin looked at the letter, but could not make out a single word. So he told the man.

- I am sorry, but I cannot read this. The man cried:

- For shame, Mullah Nasruddin ! You must be ashamed before the turban you wear (i. e. the sign of education)

Mullah Nasruddin removed the turban from his own head and placed it on the head of the illiterate man, said:

- There, now you wear the turban. If it gives some knowledge, read the letter yourself.

One day Mullah Nasruddin lost his ring down in the basement of his house, where it was very dark. There being no chance of his finding it in that darkness, he went out on the street and started looking for it there. Somebody passing by stopped and enquire:

- What are you looking for, Mullah Nasruddin ? Have you lost something?

- Yes, I've lost my ring down in the basement.

- But Mullah Nasruddin , why don't you look for it down in the basement where you have lost it? asked the man in surprise.

- Don't be silly, man! How do you expect me to find anything in that darkness!

Mullah Nasruddin had visited a town for some personal business. It was a frigid winter night when he arrived. On the way to the inn a vicious looking dog barked at him. Mullah Nasruddin bent down to pick up a stone from the street to throw at the animal. He could not lift it, for the stone was frozen to the earth.

- What a strange town this is! Mullah Nasruddin said to himself. They tie up the stones and let the dogs go free.

One day Mullah Nasruddin went to the market and bought a fine piece of meat. On the way home he met a friend who gave him a special recipe for the meat. Mullah Nasruddin was very happy. But then, before he got home, a large crow stole the meat from Mullah Nasruddin's hands and flew off with it.

- You thief! Mullah Nasruddin angrily called after departing crow. You have stolen my meat! But you won't enjoy it; I've got the recipe!

Mullah Nasruddin was dreaming that someone had counted nine gold pieces into his hand, but Mullah Nasruddin insisted that he would not accept less than ten pieces. While he was arguing with the man over one gold piece, he was awakened by a sudden noise in the street. Seeing that his hand was empty, Mullah Nasruddin quickly closed his eyes, extended his hand as if he was ready to receive, and said,

- Very well, my friend, have it your way. Give me nine.

Mullah Nasruddin was unemployed and poor but somehow he got little money to eat beans and pilaf at a cheap restaurant. He ate and examined walking people outside with the corner of the eye. He noticed a long, handsome swashbuckler (bully man) behind crowd. The Man was well dressed from head to foot, with velvet turban, silver embroidered vest, silk shirt, satin baggy-trousers and golden scimitar (short curved sword). Mullah Nasruddin pointed the man and asked restaurant keeper,

- Who is that man over there!

- He is Fehmi Pasha's servant, answered restaurant keeper.

Mullah Nasruddin sighed from far away, looked at the sky and said:

- Oh, my Good Lord! Look at that Fehmi Pasha's servant and look at your own servant, here.

One day a visitor came to Mullah Nasruddin with a question.

- Mullah Nasruddin, the place that we humans come from and the place that we go to, what is it like?

- Oh, said Mullah Nasruddin, it is a very frightening place.

- Why do you say that? the visitor asked.

- Well, when we come from there as babies, we are crying, and when somebody has to go there, everybody cries.

Nasruddin went on a pilgrimage to Mecca, and on the way he passed through Medina. As he was walking by the main mosque there, a rather confused-looking tourist approached him.

- Excuse me sir, he said, but you look like a native of these parts; can you tell me something about this mosque? It looks very old and important, but I've lost my guidebook.

Mullah Nasruddin, being too proud to admit that he, too, had no idea what it was, immediately began an enthusiastic explanation

- This is indeed a very old and special mosque. he declared, It was built by Alexander the Great to commemorate his conquest of Arabia.

The tourist was suitably impressed, but presently a look of doubt crossed his face.

- But how can that be? he asked, I'm sure that Alexander was a Greek or something, not a Muslim. . . Wasn't he?

- I can see that you know something of these matters. replied Mullah Nasruddin with chagrin, In fact, Alexander was so impressed at his good fortune in war that he converted to Islam in order to show his gratitude to God.

- Oh, wow. said the tourist, then paused. Hey, but surely there was no such thing as Islam in Alexander's time?

- An excellent point! It is truly gratifying to meet an English man who understands our history so well, answered Mullah Nasruddin. As a matter of fact, he was so overwhelmed by the generosity God had shown him that as soon as the fighting was over he began a new religion, and became the founder of Islam.

The tourist looked at the mosque with new respect, but before Mullah Nasruddin could quietly slip into the passing crowd, another problem occurred to him.

- But wasn't the founder of Islam named Mohammed? I mean, that's what it said in the newspaper; at least I'm sure it wasn't Alexander.

- I can see that you are a scholar of some learning, said Mullah Nasruddin, I was just getting to that. Alexander felt that he could properly dedicate himself to his new life as a prophet only by adopting a new identity. So, he gave up his old name and for the rest of his life called himself Mohammed.

- Really? wondered the tourist, That's amazing! But... but I thought that Alexander the Great lived a long time before Mohammed? Is that right?

- Certainly not! answered Mullah Nasruddin, You're thinking of a different Alexander the Great. I'm talking about the one named Mohammed.

One day Mullah Nasruddin wished to learn playing zurna (a kind off shrill pipe) and visited a zurna player.

- How much does it cost to learn playing zurna? asked Mullah Nasruddin.

- Three hundred akche (coin) for the first lesson and one hundred akche for the next lessons, asked zurna player.

- It sounds good, replied Mullah Nasruddin. We may start with second lesson. I was a shepherd when I was a young boy, so I already had some whistle experiences. It must be good enough for first lesson, isn't it?

One day Mullah Nasruddin went to market to buy new clothes. First he tested a pair of trousers. He didn't like the trousers and he gave back them to the shopkeeper. Then he tried a robe which had same price as the trousers. Mullah Nasruddin was pleased with the robe and he left the shop. Before he climbed on the donkey to ride home he stopped by the shopkeeper and the shop-assistant.

- You didn't pay for the robe, said the shopkeeper.

- But I gave you the trousers instead of the robe, isn't it? replied Mullah Nasruddin .

- Yes, but you didn't pay for the trousers, either! said the shopkeeper.

- But I didn't buy the trousers, replied Mullah Nasruddin. I am not so stupid to pay for something which I never bought.

Once a renowned philosopher and moralist was traveling through Nasruddin's village when he asked him where there was a good place to eat. He suggested a place and the scholar, hungry for conversation, invited Mullah Nasruddin to join him. Much obliged, Mullah Nasruddin accompanied the scholar to a nearby restaurant, where they asked the waiter about the special of the day.

- Fish! Fresh Fish! replied the waiter.

- Bring us two, they answered.

A few minutes later, the waiter brought out a large platter with two cooked fish on it, one of which was quite a bit smaller than the other. Without hesitating, Mullah Nasruddin cooked the larger of the fish and put in on his plate. The scholar, giving Mullah Nasruddin a look of intense disbelief, proceed to tell him that what he did was not only blatantly selfish, but that it violated the principles of almost every known moral, religious, and ethical system. Mullah Nasruddin calmly listened to the philosopher's extempore lecture patiently, and when he had finally exhausted his resources, Mullah Nasruddin said,

- Well, Sir, what would you have done?

- I, being a conscientious human, would have taken the smaller fish for myself.

- And here you are, Mullah Nasruddin said, and placed the smaller fish on the gentleman's plate.

- Mullah! What do they do with the old full moons?

- They cut them up into small pieces and make the star

One day people founded Mullah Nasruddin pouring the remains of his yogurt into the lake.

- Mullah Nasruddin , what are you doing? A man asked.

- I am turning the lake into yogurt, Mullah Nasruddin replied.

- Can a little bit of yeast ferment the great river? The man asked while others laughed at Mullah Nasruddin .

- You never know perhaps it might, Mullah Nasruddin replied, but what if it should!

- Mullah Nasruddin, which side must I walk when carrying a coffin, at the front, back, left or right?

- Take which you like best, so long as you are not inside!

One day Mullah Nasruddin was asked

- Could you tell us the exact location of the center of the world?

- Yes, I can, replied Mullah Nasruddin . It is just under the left hind of my donkey.

- Well, maybe! But do you have any proof?

- If you doubt my word, just measure and see.

A group of philosophers traveled far and wide to find, and, contemplated for many years, the end of the world but could not state a time for its coming. Finally they turned to Mullah Nasruddin and asked him:

- Do you know when the end of the world will be?

- Of course, said Mullah Nasruddin , when I die, that will be the end of the world.

- When you die? Are you sure?

- It will be for me at least, said Mullah Nasruddin .

One day two small boys decided to play a trick on Mullah Nasruddin. With a tiny bird cupped in their hands they would ask him whether it was alive or dead. If he said it was alive they would crush it to show show him he was wrong. If he said it was dead they would let it fly away and still fool him. When they found the wise old man they said,

- Mullah Nasruddin , that which we are holding, is it alive or dead?

Mullah Nasruddin thought for a moment and replied,

- Ah, my young friends, that is in your hands!

- Mullah Nasruddin, why do you always a question with another question?

- Do I?

A certain man asked Mullah Nasruddin ,

- What is the meaning of fate, Mullah Nasruddin ?

- Assumptions, Mullah Nasruddin replied.

- In what way? the man asked again.

Mullah Nasruddin looked at him and said,

- You assume things are going to go well, and they don't - that you call bad luck. You assume things are going to go badly and they don't - that you call good luck. You assume that certain things are going to happen or not happen - and you so lack intuition that you don't know what is going to happen. You assume that the future is unknown. When you are caught out - you call that Fate.

On a frigid and snowy winter day Mullah Nasruddin was having a chat with some of his friends in the local coffee house. Mullah Nasruddin said that cold weather did not bother him, and in fact, he could stay, if necessary, all night without any heat.

- We'll take you up on that, Mullah Nasruddin . they said. If you stand all night in the village square without warming yourself by any external means, each of us will treat you to a sumptuous meal. But if you fail to do so, you will treat us all to dinner.

- All right it's a bet, Mullah Nasruddin said.

That very night, Mullah Nasruddin stood in the village square till morning despite the bitter cold. In the morning, he ran triumphantly to his friends and told them that they should be ready to fulfill their promise. But as a matter of fact you lost the bet, Mullah Nasruddin , said one of them. At about midnight, just before I went to sleep, I saw a candle burning a window about three hundred yards away from where you were standing. That certainly means that you warmed yourself by it.

- That's ridiculous, Mullah Nasruddin argued. How can a candle behind a window warm a person three hundred yards away?

All his protestations were to no avail, and it was decided that Mullah Nasruddin had lost the bet. Mullah Nasruddin accepted the verdict and invited all of them to a dinner that night at his home. They all arrived on time, laughing and joking, anticipating the delicious meal Mullah Nasruddin was going to serve them. But dinner was not ready. Mullah Nasruddin told them that it would be ready in a short time, and left the room to prepare the meal. A long time passed, and still no dinner was served.

Finally, getting impatient and very hungry, they went into the kitchen to see if there was any food cooking at all. What they saw, they could not believe. Mullah Nasruddin was standing by a huge cauldron, suspended from the ceiling. There was a lighted candle under the cauldron.

- Be patient my friends, Mullah Nasruddin told them. Dinner will be ready soon. You see it is cooking.

- Are you out of your mind, Mullah Nasruddin? they shouted. How could you with such a tiny flame boil such a large pot?

- Your ignorance of such matters amuses me, Mullah Nasruddin said. If the flame of a candle behind a window three hundred yards away can warm a person, surely the same flame will boil this pot which is only three inches away.

One December day the village boys decided to play a trick on Mullah Nasruddin to fool him. They hid Mullah Nasruddin's coat when he was performing ablution for Friday ritual. But Mullah Nasruddin perceived that a trick on the way.

- Mullah Nasruddin , it's a cold day, why don't you wear your coat? asked one of them

- I left my coat at home to keep the place warm! answered Mullah Nasruddin.

No need to come Pack-saddle instead of overcoat Nasruddin's wife developed a severe abdominal pain. He left his house to bring a doctor. When he was in the street, his wife called him through the window and said that her stomach pain disappeared and there is no need for the doctor. Nasruddin didn't listen to her and went to the doctor's house and told him, "My wife had a severe abdominal pain. Whiel i was coming to call you, my wife shouted through the window and siad that her pain subsided and there was no need to bring the doctor, therefore, I came to inform you that there is no need for you to come.

Once Nasruddin was passing through a desert along with his donkey. He needed to make an ablution. He took off his overcoat, put it on the back of his donkey and went towards a stream to make ablution. A thief was passing by. He stole the overcoat. On return Nasruddin couldn't see the overcoat, instead, he took the saddle-pack on his shoulder and addressed the donkey, "Whenever you return my overcoat, i will give you your saddle-pack". Nasruddin's sadness Days in this city Nasruddin's wife died but it hardly affect him. Even he didn't look sad. But when his donkey died, Nasruddin was very sad for several days. His comrads who always wanted to be happy gathered around him to sympathise, so they said, "May you be in good health, don't worry about the materials?" on of them asked, Your wife died recently and you didn't feel so sad, but why so much grief-stricken you are for the donkey?" Nasruddin answered, "When my wife died all the neighbors sympathized with me by telling me that they would find a better one for me, but when my donkey died, no one made such a promise".

Nasruddin went to a city and was walking in the streets. Some one asked him, "What is the day today?" He said, "I have recently come to this city, so far I am not accustomed to the days here. You'd better ask a resident of this city".

One afternoon when Nasruddin was very hungry. he started swallowing out of a hot pot. His throat, gullet and stomach were burnt. He stood up and started running. They asked "why are you running?" "Please get some water soon, and pour it on my body because a fire has started in my stomach". said Nasruddin.

A guest came to Nasruddin's house. At night he developed an urge for urination. He saw Nasruddin awake and asked him, "Please give me the lantern. It is on your right." Nasruddin said, "You are mad, it is too dark for me to recognize my right and left hand.

Once Nasruddin went to a garden and climbed on apricot tree. The gardener observed this and asked him, “Why did you climb someone else’s tree?” Nasruddin answered, “Don’t you know I am nightingale and for nightingales climbing a tree is not a sin.” The gardener laughed and said, “Please sing so I listen and enjoy.” Nasruddin started to sing in his horse voice. The gardener asked him whether nightingale sang so badly. Nasruddin replied, “A nightingale which eats raw apricot will not sing better than this.”

Once a king consulted Nasruddin. “Daring the Abasis and after, khalifs used to add the term “Allah" after their names. What title do you think I should choose for myself? Nasruddin answered “Nawoozobillah” (God forbid). Lack of etiquettes Because of lack of time Nasruddin went to a judge’s office to divorce his wife. The judge asked him, “What is your wife’s name?” He answered. “I don’t know.” “For how many years havd you remained as spouses?” The judge asked again. He said “More than 20 years”. The judge asked him. “How come you don’t know her name?” Nasruddin answered, “Because I did not have any social relations with her.” Once a person slapped Nasruddin in the street. Later he came hack and started to apologize and said that he had mistaken Nasruddin for some one else. But Nasruddin was not satisfied and took tight hold of his collar, took him to the judge and told the judge about the incident. The judge ordered, “Nasruddin must slap that person to avenge. But Nasruddin didn’t get satisfied. Thus the judge ordered the person to give Nasruddin a gold coin in lieu of the slap. The accused had to go out of the court to bring the gold coin. Nasruddin waited for sometime. The accused didn’t come hack. Nasruddin stood up and slapped the judge on his face and said, “Since I have a lot of work, whenever that person Comes and brings the coin, You take the money for this slap.”


Deductive reasoning

"How old are you, Mullah?” Someone asked,
“Three years older than my brother."
“How do you know that?"
“Reasoning. Last year I heard my brother tell someone that I was two years older than him. A year has passed. That means that I am older by one year. I shall soon be old enough to be his grandfather."

Tit for tat

Nasruddin went into a shop to buy a pair of trousers. Then he changed his mind and chose a cloak instead, at the same price. Picking up the cloak he left the shop.
"You have not paid," shouted the merchant.
"I left you the trousers, which were of the same value as the cloak."
"But you did not pay for the trousers either.”
“Of course not,” said Mullah; “Why should I pay for something that I did not want to buy?"

More useful

One day Mullah Nasruddin entered his favourite teahouse and said
“The moon is more useful than the sun”.
An old man asked “Why Mullah?"
Nasruddin replied “We need the light more during the night than during the day."

Promises kept

A friend asked the Mullah “How old are you?”
“Forty” replied the Mullah.
The friend said “But you said the same thing two years ago!”
“Yes,” replied the Mullah, “I always stand by what I have said”.

When you face things alone

“You may have lost your donkey, Nasruddin, but you don't have to grieve over it more than you did about the loss of your first wife.”
“Ah, but if you remember, when I lost my wife, all you villagers said: “We'll find you someone else. So far, nobody has offered to replace my donkey."

Obligation

Nasruddin nearly fell into a pool one day. A man whom he knew slightly was nearby, and saved him. Every time he met Nasruddin after that he would remind him of the service which he had performed. When this had happened several times Nasruddin took him to the water, jumped in, stood with his head just above water and shouted: "Now I am as wet as I would have been if you had not saved me! Leave me alone.”