Evans Experientialism
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The title comes from an animated cartoon,
which is shown on TV every Christmas day
in Britain and The content of the film is poignant and has
a bittersweet ending which could be upsetting
to some young children. In this capacity
it is more of an adult film than children's
animation, as adults have the ability to
look back and understand what the film is
saying and what is lost. But for children
it will simply be a magical tale of excitement
and friendship. In a day and age where most
children's entertainment seems to revolve
around violence, this is a truly charming
and heartwarming short film.
What Actually Happens
The deal is that the RAF will fly the plane
and us to any UK airport that we designate.
We choose Manchester Ringway Airport. The
only proviso that the Ministry of Defence
builds into the deal is that we won't scrap
it for the expensive titanium and other precious
alloys - but instead preserve it for posterity.
After a riotous night in the Officers' Mess,
we all sway out on a drunken foray onto the
floodlit tarmac. The huge white aircraft
is standing like some poor old awaiting the
horse slaughterer in his knacker's cart.
It's a warm summer night and the smell of
fuel oil and recently cut grass is a sweet
cocktail in our nostrils. One by one the
Royal Air Force guys bid a tearful farewell
to their faithful old girl. They rub their
hands on the shiny underbelly and kiss the
cool metal. One man is crying and his tears
run down his cheeks to disappear into the
whiskers of his handlebar moustache. Airmen
get just as attached to their aircraft as
mariners do to their boats as you may know.
Eventually we creep to our cots to await
the dawn.
After breakfast and a briefing straight out
of the pages of The , we're kitted out like
Biggles and take off for Manchester. The
Comet's loaded with 2000 gallons of high-octane
aviation fuel. It's simply because it was
part of the package when we signed the documents
and it's our 'property'. The captain radios
ahead to Ringway and they ask him how much
fuel we're carrying and how much we will
burn off before our ETA. Manchester control
refuse permission to land because we would
exceed the amount of onboard fuel allowed
by government aircraft regulations for landing
at a civilian airport.
The captain lowers his face-mike and turns
to Colin and me -
'What do you want to do gentlemen?' he says.
'We can either discharge the fuel over the
North Sea, or we can swan around for an hour
or two and burn it up?'
Colin and I look at each other with wide
open shining eyes - we don't need to speak,
there's no need to shout or confer above
the roar of the four Rolls Royce Avon engines!
What a fantastic moment in our lives - there
we are, at God knows how many thousand feet
- two kids from the slums - he a cockney
sparrow and me a Liverpool scruff who had
gone to school in his mother's shoes with
the heels knocked off, in our own jet aircraft
for Gods-sake - and the guy says 'Shall we
go for a spin around Scandinavia!'
We don't care that the Lord Mayor of Manchester
and The Lord Mayor of Stretford are waiting
for us at the champagne reception that we
have organised. We don't give a damn how
many vol au vents go stale on silver platters.
We haven't a care if eventually the Comet
nose-dives into the pewter waters of the
North Sea. This is THE golden moment of our
lives, where time is frozen. Like when Carter
removed the last brick and spied the golden
sarcophagus of the great Tutankhamun captured
in the light of his guttering candle. Like
when the little band of conquistadors stood
on a peak in Darken! and saw the Pacific
spread out before them like a silver sheet.
Like when Allina Zinovievna stood with her
back to that tree in that Russian park at
and the clock disappeared behind time's black
cloak
With the licence and freedom extended to
the most respected airforce in the world,
we swoop and swan over the rippled greyness.
Banking steeply to our right the Jutland
peninsula slides beneath our silvery wings.
With a trail of glowing ice-particles dancing
in our wake we waft onward to the fretted
coastline of Olin's lair. We fly down the
Skagerrak, we zoom down the Kattegat, up
to the harbour and over the Quay, and there
she is waiting for me, with a welcome so
warm and so wide!
Over the flatlands of Denmark, over the tiny
village of Angeln - broodbasket of the Angles
who became the English nation, over the sullen
castle of Hälsingör where Olivier whispered
his soliloquy and dangled his legs above
the roaring waves. Onward we fly our youthful
dreams cocooned in a thin riveted carapace
of lightweight metal sheets.
We boom over the snowclad summits of Norwegian
mountains and speed at low altitude above
the still waters of secluded fjords. They
must have got permission to play over Norse
airspace by radio. It was like being the
little red-headed boy with theSnowman, but
instead of being borne up on the broad, white,
cloudy back of a man of ice, we are aloft
in a prototype Nimrod submarine detection
aircraft - a Comet with a specially elongated
fuselage. An elegant aerodynamic sausage,
with a rubberoid pod of tricks in its belly.
A giant airborne silver kingfisher.
These are the moments of our ecstasy.
Alas! Fortune's egg timer is already spitting
out the last spiteful grains. Slanting shafts
of gold merge into the darkling cerulean
blue of a northern sunset. Alas the time
comes when the helmeted snowman's sad eyes
turn towards home and the dancing ice-fairies
fade slowly from our view.
The nose of the great craft swings towards
the blue shores of Britain. The dream is
over. Our reverie is rudely awakened by the
staccato sounds of radio traffic, rustling
paper, and internal crew communication. We
start our approach glide as the shores of
England's East Coast come into view. With
gentle bumps and rises we cross the Pennine
divide and sink gently down into the hill
folds of my beloved Lancashire. An accelerating
rush of houses and buildings - then cars
and matchstick manikins. The dream is over.
We're home! 'Uncork the champers! Sorry we're
late, M'lords! "But you're late! - Where have you been?" We've been flying with the Snowman - Careful - you're on TV! - Care for a vol au vent?' |