 'Once upon a time...' he said, and stopped to wipe the tears from his eyes, 'once upon a time….' he continued, his body convulsed in paroxysms of laughter…'once upon a time…' he tried again, and fought for air to feed the waves of laughter that racked his body…'Once upon a time I was actually married… to THAT!'
The man's podgy finger stabbed at the newspaper that lay open on his lap.
'And do you know what…?'
His trembling frame thrashed around in uncontrollable merriment.
'D'yuh know what I found out on our wedding night?
His ferocious side-glances, with narrow bloodshot eyes, swept each face for a sign of attention.
'D'yuh know what... d'yuh know what... d'yuh know what? He bounced up and down in his seat making strange animal snorting noises.
The travellers shifted themselves uneasily in their seats.
They exchanged nervous, tight-lipped smiles, whilst trying hard not to look in the man's direction.
'D'yuh know what I discovered on my wedding night?' he hissed. The maniacal laughter had gone now. It was replaced by a glacial calmness.
Nobody spoke. The rhythmic clatter of the train wheels muffled the sound of the breathing of his six fellow passengers.
'I found out SHE was a goddam man!' He spat the words out and pulled the pages apart in a sudden frenzy.
The insane laughter ripped out of his body. Dribble swung from his moistened lips, as he tore clumsily at the paper with broken dirty fingernails.
There was a sudden squeal of air brakes. A juddering, tortured deceleration shook the carriage, then ceased as quickly as it had begun.
As the train drew slowly to a halt, only the shallow breathing of the passengers broke the stillness.
A single sharp whistle pierced the air followed by a gruff male cry,
'Waterston Junction!'
The door swung open with a bang. The frantic occupants fought with each other to exit through the narrow doorway. In less than a half a minute the compartment was empty. Only the man and the torn newspaper remained. |
