Last Sunday I drove alone the 35 miles to an old friend's house to attend a welcome party for two Swedish friends. Clare stayed home to look after the baby, for it would have been too much for her and the baby to travel that entire way and back. 
I haven't mentioned this before - but my friend is unfortunately an alcoholic. Once he has more than a certain amount of booze he goes 'over the top' and gets noisy - you've seen it all before - for I am sure your experience of this sort of thing is no different to mine. Of course, it is sad to see one's oldest friend destroying himself like this. I have had a long talk to him - a serious talk - in which I 'laid it on the line,' and told him I was very worried about him.
I said I gave him no more than another five years if he continued to abuse alcohol in this way. I said I was risking his wrath in telling him straight because I love him, and I had a responsibility to him as his oldest comrade, I had the right to tell him - and his children had asked me to talk to him - which they had - I spoke for a long time.
I have studied alcoholism at University. When I was studying in the Arts Faculty, I had access to the Medical Library and I used to go there and read up on the disease. I did this because I have got another friend of 30 years standing - a Swede called Olle Goude who is [at the time this was written Olle was still alive] also an alcoholic!
It was Olle's problem I'd been trying to understand at the time.
Recently, (exactly one year ago today as it happens), I had to go to the funeral in London of another of my oldest and dearest friends.
My party friend's 's reaction to my concern was the alcoholic's typical 'avoidance' or 'deflection' ploy i.e., using spurious divertive tactics either to attempt to change the subject or to steer the conversation away by seizing on any small faults in my argument etc. On this occasion however I wasn't to be deflected from my pursuit of the dangers inherent in his continuance in his destructive life - style. I hammered home my points, emphasised the worry it was causing his family and friends. My words were useless! Having said all that - it was a good party! I am no 'goody two shoes’. The only reason I did not drink was because I had to drive home.
I don't want you to get the idea that I have any hang-ups concerning alcohol - I certainly haven't - and I can drink most men under the table - but for some reason my metabolism is unaffected and my body doesn't cry out for alcohol the next day. Clare and I often have a bottle of wine with our evening meal. | 