If you see a ghost in your own home, which room do you think it will choose?  Yes, you've guessed it - in the bedroom. As with vampires, most reports of seeing a ghost include the event taking place in the bedroom and statistically most ghosts  (often of a dead loved one,  or an alive one who is on the other side of the world) thoughtfully and considerately position themselves at the foot of the bed where the hallucinating hypnagogic can get a good unrestricted view of them.  

Claims of people who say that they have seen a ghost are most often associated with hypnagogic hallucinations or things people see when trying to fall asleep or  objects perceived during a hallucinatory episode that they see while trying to wake up. Although there are reports from all sorts of buildings (ghosts in modern houses and high-rise blocks built in the 1960s, and so on), the fact is that older buildings, and certain types of buildings, particularly public places like pubs, restuarants and country houses which  cater for paying visitors do seem to have more ghost reports associated with them.

For some reason, whilst the photons that are reflected by the image of a ghost can impact the retinas of suitably mentally disturbed humans, they cannot impinge upon evidential camera-film in a similar way. Most indistinct, photographic-smudges which are claimed to be pictures of ghosts are blindingly obvious camera (or photographer) faults, or very crude camera tricks,  or technical errors of the lens system that mis-focuses an image and jumbles up the photosensitive mosaic into the  (customary or obligatory) difficult to interpret, blurred image.

Additionally “ghosts” are often the result of jokes and tricks. That was certainly the case when I was a lad - we were always borrowing white sheets off our mothers for the purpose. Ghostly sightings can also be brought on as a result of a psychotic state, alcohol or drug use, or temporal lobe epilepsy “Ghosts” can also be an illusion produced by the brain, particularly when a person is tired. In 2005 a woman who was found delirious and hyperventilating after seeing a “ghost” while taking a shower; was discovered to have inhaled the fumes from a new gas water heater had been improperly installed, flooding her house with carbon monoxide.

Such mental disturbances (often have some sexual basis) have been reported by humans for centuries, and can be the result of ingesting rotten food, including the ergot infection of rye-flour, which is characterized by a nervous dysfunction, where the victim is twisting and contorting their body in pain, trembling and shaking, accompanied by muscle spasms, confusions, delusions and hallucinations, as well as a number of other symptoms. Infected water in which humans (higher up stream) have defecated often explains both the demonic visitations reported during the Middle Ages which could end in you being burned alive on a bonfire as a witch.

Today’s media reports of attention-seekers claiming to be the victims of alien abduction often include detailed accounts of their experience in which they claim to have been probed" or the victims of sexual interference. In my opinion the majority of sightings are those reported by social and/or sexual inadequates - who seem to live on trailer-parks. Though there are notable exceptions, most are usually single, educatively challenged, sexually deprived people of both sexes, who are lonely and frustrated and long for affection and somebody to take an interest in them.

According to what I have read of them over the years, they often think of themselves as losers to who welcome the prospect of being taken seriously in the village or town in which they live. They dream about appearing on television or having their photo in the local newspaper, which gives them the 15 minutes of fame that they hunger for. This is also characteristic of the men and women who claim they have been visited by and angel or a succubus - a female demonic legendary creature who seduces men in their sleep.

If you ever see a ghost yourself I should telephone the news room of your local rag immediately - you might get your photograph in the newspaper and even better - you may get handsomely paid for revealing the details. The alternative is either telephone your family doctor or  phone a Catholic priest who will visit your home and exorcise the ghost.  But take extra care where you stand (back to the wall is safest)  while the exorcising takes place - it can be nasty