The Life of Diogenes
by Diogenes Laertius
Diogenes was a native of Sinope, son of Hicesius,
a banker. Diocles relates that he went into
exile because his father was entrusted with
the money of the state and adulterated the
coinage. But Eubulides in his book on Diogenes
says that Diogenes himself did this and was
forced to leave home along with his father....
On reaching Athens he fell in with Antisthenes.
Being repulsed by him, because he never welcomed
pupils, by sheer persistence Diogenes wore
him out. Once when he stretched out his staff
against him, the pupil offered his head with
the words, " Strike, for you will find
no wood hard enough to keep me away from
you, so long as I think you've something
to say." From that time forward he was
his pupil, and, exile as he was, set out
upon a simple life.
Through watching a mouse running about, says
Theophrastus in the Megarian dialogue, not
looking for a place to lie down in, not afraid
of the dark, not seeking any of the things
which are considered to be dainties, he discovered
the means of adapting himself to circumstances.
He was the first, say some, to fold his cloak
because he was obliged to sleep in it as
well, and he carried a wallet to hold his
victuals, and he used any place for any purpose,
for breakfasting, sleeping, or conversing.
And then he would say, pointing to the portico
of Zeus and the Hall of Processions, that
the Athenians had provided him with places
to live in. He did not lean upon a staff
until he grew infirm; but afterwards he would
carry it everywhere, not indeed in the city,
but when walking along the road with it and
with his wallet; so say Olympiodorus, once
a magistrate at Athens, Polyeuctus the orator,
and Lysanias the son of Aeschrio. He had
written to some one to try and procure a
cottage for him. When this man was a long
time about it, he took for his abode the
tub in the Metroon, as he himself explains
in his letters. And in summer he used to
roll in it over hot sand, while in winter
he used to embrace statues covered with snow,
using every means of inuring himself to hardship.
Further, when he was sold as a slave, he
endured it most nobly. For on a voyage to
Aegina he was captured by pirates under the
command of Scirpalus, conveyed to Crete and
exposed for sale. When the auctioneer asked
in what he was proficient, he replied, "
In ruling men." Thereupon he pointed
to a certain Corinthian with a fine purple
border to his robe, the man named Xeniades
above-mentioned, and said, " Sell me
to this man; he needs a master." Thus
Xeniades came to buy him, and took him to
Corinth and set him over his own children
and entrusted his whole household to him.
And he administered it in all respects in
such a manner that Xeniades used to go about
saying, " A good genius has entered
my house."
[ Menippus in his Sale of Diogenes tells
how, when he was captured and put up for
sale, he was asked what he could do. He replied,
"Govern men." And he told the crier
to give notice in case anybody wanted to
purchase a master for himself. Having been
forbidden to sit down, " It makes no
difference," said he, "for in whatever
position fishes lie, they still find purchasers."
And he said he marveled that before we buy
a jar or dish we try whether it rings true,
but if it is a man are content merely to
look at him. To Xeniades who purchased him
he said, " You must obey me, although
I am a slave; for, if a physician or a steersman
were in slavery, he would be obeyed."]
Eubulus in his book entitled The Sele of
Diogenes tells us that this was how he trained
the sons of Xeniades. After their other studies
he taught them to ride, to shoot with the
bow, to sling stones and to hurl javelins.
Later, when they reached the wrestling-school,
he would not permit the master to give them
full athletic training, but only so much
as to heighten their colour and keep them
in good condition.
The boys used to get by heart many passages
from poets, historians, and the writings
of Diogenes himself; and he would practice
them in every short cut to a good memory.
In the house too he taught them to wait upon
themselves, and to be content with plain
fare and water to drink. He used to make
them crop their hair close and to wear it
unadorned, and to go lightly clad, barefoot,
silent, and not looking about them in the
streets. He would also take them out hunting.
They on their part had a great regard for
Diogenes and made requests of their parents
for him.
Cleomenes in his work entitled Concerning
Pedagogues says that the friends of Diogenes
wanted to ransom him, whereupon he called
them simpletons; for, said he, lions are
not the slaves of those who feed them, but
rather those who feed them are at the mercy
of the lions: for fear is the mark of the
slave, whereas wild beasts make men afraid
of them.
The same Eubulus relates that he grew old
in the house of Xeniades, and when he died
was buried by his sons. There Xeniades once
asked him how he wished to be buried. To
which he replied, " On my face."
" Why ? " inquired the other. "
Because," said he, " after a little
time down will be converted into up."
This because the Macedonians had now got
the supremacy, that is, had risen high from
a humble position.
Diogenes is said to have been nearly ninety
years old when he died. Regarding his death
there are several different accounts. One
is that he was seized with colic after eating
an octopus raw and so met his end. Another
is that he died voluntarily by holding his
breath.
Hence, it is said, arose a quarrel among
his disciples as to who should bury him:
nay, they even came to blows; but, when their
fathers and men of influence arrived, under
their direction he was buried beside the
gate leading to the Isthmus. Over his grave
they set up a pillar and a dog in Parian
marble upon it. Subsequently his fellow-citizens
honored him with bronze statues, on which
these verses were inscribed:
Time makes even bronze grow old: but thy
glory Diogenes. all eternity will never destroy.
Since thou alone didst point out to mortals
the lesson of self-sufficiency and the easiest
path of life.
The Quest for a Good Man
He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said,
as he went about, "I am looking for
a man."
Being asked where in Greece he saw good men,
he replied, " Good men nowhere, but
good boys at Lacedaemon." When one day
he was gravely discoursing and nobody attended
to him, he began whistling, and as people
clustered about him, he reproached them with
coming in all seriousness to hear nonsense,
but slowly and contemptuously when the theme
was serious. He would say that men strive
in digging and kicking to outdo one another,
but no one strives to become a good man and
true. And he would wonder that the grammarians
should investigate the ills of Odysseus,
while they were ignorant of their own. Or
that the musicians should tune the strings
of the lyre, while leaving the dispositions
of their own souls discordant; that the mathematicians
should gaze at the sun and the moon, but
overlook matters close at hand; that the
orators should make a fuss about justice
in their speeches, but never practice it;
or that the avaricious should cry out against
money, while inordinately fond of it. He
used also to condemn those who praised honest
men for being superior to money, while themselves
envying the very rich. He was moved to anger
that men should sacrifice to the gods to
ensure health and in the midst of the sacrifice
should feast to the detriment of health.
He was astonished that when slaves saw their
masters were gluttons, they did not steal
some of the viands. He would praise those
who were about to marry and refrained, those
who intending to go a voyage never set sail,
those who thinking to engage in politics
do no such thing, those also who purposing
to rear a family do not do so, and those
who make ready to live with potentate, yet
never come near them after all.
One day he shouted out for men, and when
people collected, hit out at them with his
stick, saying, " It was men I called
for, not scoundrels...."
When some one boasted that at the Pythian
games he had vanquished men, Diogenes replied,
" Nay, I defeat men, you defeat slaves."
As he was leaving the public baths, somebody
inquired if many men were bathing. He said,
No. But to another who asked if there was
a great crowd of bathers, he said, Yes.
He was returning from Olympia, and when somebody
inquired whether there was a great crowd,
" Yes," he said, " a great
crowd, but few who could be called men."
A Socrates Gone Mad
On being asked by somebody, " What sort
of a man do you consider Diogenes to be ?
" " A Socrates gone mad,"
said he.
Being asked what he had done to be called
a dog, he said, " I fawn on those who
give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse,
and I set my teeth in rascals".... He
was breakfasting in the market~ place, and
the bystanders gathered round him with cries
of " dog." " It is you who
are dogs," cried he, " when you
stand round and watch me at my breakfast."
He used to say that he followed the example
of the trainers of choruses; for they too
set the note a little high, to ensure that
the rest should hit the right note. Most
people, he would say, are so nearly mad that
a finger makes all the difference. For, if
you go along with your middle finger stretched
out, some one will think you mad, but, if
it's the little finger, he will not think
so.
Some one took him into a magnificent house
and warned him not to spit, whereupon having
cleared his throat he discharged the phlegm
into the man's face, being unable, he said,
to find a meaner receptacle.
When some strangers expressed a wish to see
Demosthenes, he stretched out his middle
finger and said, " There goes the demagogue
of Athens."
Some one wanted to study philosophy under
him. Diogenes gave him a tunafish to carry
and told him to follow him. And when for
shame the man threw it away and departed,
some time after on meeting him he laughed
and said, " The friendship between you
and me was broken by a tuna."
When some one hit him a blow with his fist,
"Heracles," said he, "how
came I to forget to put on a helmet when
I walked out?" Further, when Meidias
assaulted him and went on to say, "There
are 3000 drachmas to your credit," the
next day he took a pair of boxing-gauntlets,
gave him a thrashing and said, "There
are 3000 blows to your credit."
When behaving indecently in the marketplace,
he wished it were as easy to relieve hunger
by rubbing an empty stomach.
At a feast certain people kept throwing all
the bones to him as they would have done
to a dog. Thereupon he played a dog's trick
and drenched them.
Living According to Nature
Very valuable things, said he, were bartered
for things of no value, and vice versa. At
all events a statue fetches three thousand
drachmas, while a quart of barley-flour is
sold for two copper coins.
One day, observing a child drinking out of
his hands, he cast away the cup from his
wallet with the words, " A child has
beaten me in plainness of living." He
also threw away his bowl when in like manner
he saw a child who had broken his plate taking
up his lentils with the hollow part of a
morsel of bread. He used also to reason thus:
" All things belong to the gods. The
wise are friends of the gods, and friends
hold things in common. Therefore all things
belong to the wise."
He would often insist loudly that the gods
had given to men the means of living easily,
but this had been put out of sight, because
we require honeyed cakes, unguents and the
like. Hence to a man whose shoes were being
put on by his servant, he said, " You
have not attained to full felicity, unless
he wipes your nose as well; and that will
come, when you have lost the use of your
hands."
When he was advised to go in pursuit of his
runaway slave, he replied, " It would
be absurd, if Manes can live without Diogenes,
but Diogenes cannot get on without Manes."
When breakfasting on olives amongst which
a cake had been inserted, he flung it away
and addressed it thus: "Stranger, be
gone from the princes' path."
When Craterus wanted him to come and visit
him, " No," he replied, "
I would rather live on a few grains of salt
at Athens than enjoy sumptuous fare at Craterus's
table."
Being reproached for eating in the market-place
" Well, it was in the market-place,"
he said, " that I felt hungry."
Nothing in life, however, he maintained,
has any chance of succeeding without strenuous
practice; and this is capable of overcoming
anything. Accordingly, instead of useless
toils men should choose such as nature recommends,
whereby they might have lived happily. Yet
such is their madness that they choose to
be miserable. For even the despising of pleasure
is itself most pleasurable, when we are habituated
to it; and just as those accustomed to a
life of pleasure feel disgust when they pass
over to the opposite experience, so those
whose training has been of the opposite kind
derive more pleasure from despising pleasure
than from the pleasures themselves. This
was the gist of his conversation; and it
was plain that he acted accordingly, adulterating
currency in very truth, allowing convention
no such authority as he allowed to natural
right, and asserting that the manner of life
he lived was the same as that of Heracles
when he preferred liberty to everything.
And he saw no impropriety either in stealing
anything from a temple or in eating the flesh
of any animal; nor even anything impious
in touching human flesh, this, he said, being
clear from the custom of some foreign nations.
Moreover, according to right reason, as he
put it, all elements are contained in all
things and pervade everything: since not
only is meat a constituent of bread, but
bread of vegetables; and all other bodies
also, by means of certain invisible passages
and particles, find their way in and unite
with all substances in the form of vapor.
The Scorn of a Cynic
He was great at pouring scorn on his contemporaries.
The school of Euclides he called bilious,
and Plato's lectures waste of time, the performances
at the Dionysia great peep-shows for fools,
and the demagogues the mob's lacqueys. He
used also to say that when he saw physicians,
philosophers and pilots at their work, he
deemed man the most intelligent of all animals;
but when again he saw interpreters of dreams
and diviners and those who attended to them,
or those who were puffed up with conceit
of wealth, he thought no animal more silly.
He would continually say that for the conduct
of life we need right reason or a halter.
When Lysias the druggist asked him if he
believed in the gods, " How can I help
believing in them," said he, "
when I see a god-forsaken wretch like you
? "
Still he was loved by the Athenians. At all
events, when a youngster broke up his tub,
they gave the boy a flogging and presented
Diogenes with another.
Dionysius the Stoic says that after Chaeronea
he was seized and dragged off to Philip,
and being asked who he was, replied, "
A spy upon your insatiable greed." For
this he was admired and set free.
When a youth effeminate attired put a question
to him, he declined to answer unless he pulled
up his robe and showed whether he was man
or woman.
Being asked what creature's bite is the worst,
he said, " Of those that are wild a
sycophant's; of those that are tame a flatterer's."
When some one said, "Most people laugh
at you," his reply was, "And so
very likely do the asses at them; but as
they don't care for the asses, so neither
do I care for them."
He was asking alms of a bad-tempered man,
who said, " Yes, if you can persuade
me." " If I could have persuaded
you," said Diogenes, " I would
have persuaded you to hang yourself."
Diogenes And Plato
When Plato styled him a dog, " Quite
true," he said, " for I come back
again and again to those who have sold me."
Again, another time he was eating dried figs
when he encountered Plato and offered him
a share of them. When Plato took them and
ate them, he said, " I said you might
share them, not that you might eat them all
up."
And one day when Plato had invited to his
house friends coming from Dionysius, Diogenes
trampled upon his carpets and said, "
I trample upon Plato's vainglory." Plato's
reply was, " How much pride you expose
to view, Diogenes, by seeming not to be proud."
Others tell us that what Diogenes said was,
" I trample upon the pride of Plato,"
who retorted, " Yes, Diogenes, with
pride of another sort."
Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped
and featherless, and was applauded. Diogenes
plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room
with the words, "Here is Plato's man."
One day he got a thorough drenching where
he stood, and, when the bystanders pitied
hi, Plato said, if they really pitied him,
they should move away, alluding to his vanity.
As Plato was conversing about Ideas and using
the nouns " tablehood " and "
cuphood," he said, " Table and
cup I see; but your tablehood and cuphood,
Plato, I can nowise see." " That's
readily accounted for," said Plato,
" for you have the eyes to see the visible
table and cup; but not the understanding
by which ideal tablehood and cuphood are
discerned."
Some authors affirm that the following also
belongs to him: that Plato saw him washing
lettuces, came up to him and quietly said
to him, " Had you paid court to Dionysius,
you wouldn't now be washing lettuces,"
and that he with equal calmness made answer,
" If you had washed lettuces, you wouldn't
have paid court to Dionysius."
And Alexander the Great
When he was sunning himself in the Craneum,
Alexander came and stood over him and said,
" Ask of me any favor you like."
To which he replied, "Stand out of my
light."
Alexander once came and stood opposite him
and said, " I am Alexander the great
king." " And I," said he,
" am Diogenes the Cynic."
When Alexander stood opposite him and asked,
" Are you not afraid of me ? "
" Why, what are you?" said he,
" a good thing or a bad ? " Upon
Alexander replying " A good thing,"
" Who then," said Diogenes, "
is afraid of the good ? "
Alexander is reported to have said, "
Had I not been Alexander, I should have liked
to be Diogenes."
Diogenes Laertius. Lives of Eminent Philosophers.
Vol. 2. Trans. R. D. Hicks. London, William
Heinemann, 1925.
IV. Hipparchia: A Female Cynic
Hipparchia was a notable cynic, who lived
around 300 BC. Her brother, Metrocles, was
a student of Crates, who in turn was a follower
of Diogenes of Sinope. Hipparchia soon became
captivated by Crates and devoted her life
to the radical lifestyle of the Cynics.
The only information that we have about this
fascinating woman is a brief passage from
Diogenes Laertius' Lives of the Philosophers:
Hipparchia too, sister of Metrocles, was
captured by [the doctrines of the Cynics].
Both of them were born at Maronea. She fell
in love with the words and life of Crates,
and would not pay attention to any of her
suitors, their wealth, their high birth or
their good looks. But to her Crates was everything.
She used even to threaten her parents that
she would kill herself, unless she were given
in marriage to him. Crates therefore was
implored by her parents to dissuade the girl,
and did all he could. Finally, failing to
persuade her, got up, took off his clothes
right in front of her and said: "This
is your bridegroom, here are his possession;
make your choice accordingly; for you will
be no partner of mine, unless you share my
way of life.
The girl chose and, adopting the same dress,
went about with her husband and consorted
with him in public and went out to dinners
with him. Accordingly she appeared at the
banquet given by Lysimachus, and there put
down Theodorus, known as the atheist, by
means of the following argument:
Any action which would not be called wrong
if done by Theodorus, would not be called
wrong if done by Hipparchia. Now Theodorus
does no wrong when he strikes himself. Therefore
neither does Hipparchia do wrong when she
strikes Theodorus.
He had no reply to this argument, but tried
to strip her of her cloak. But Hipparchia
show no signs of alarm or of the kind of
agitation natural to a woman. And when he
said to her, "Is this she who left behind
her... comb and loom?" And she replied,
"It is I, Theodorus. But do you suppose
that I have chosen incorrectly, if instead
of wasting further time upon the loom I spent
it in education?"
These tales and countless others are told
of the female philosopher.
Diogenes Laertius. Lives of Eminent Philosophers.
Vol. 2. Trans. R. D. Hicks. London, William
Heinemann, 1925.
Evans Experientialism 
