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After what we have said, a discussion of
friendship would naturally follow, since
it is a virtue or implies virtue, and is
besides most necessary with a view to living.
For without friends no one would choose to
live, though he had all other goods; even
rich men and those in possession of office
and of dominating power are thought to need
friends most of all; for what is the use
of such prosperity without the opportunity
of beneficence, which is exercised chiefly
and in its most laudable form towards friends?
Or how can prosperity be guarded and preserved
without friends? The greater it is, the more
exposed is it to risk. And in poverty and
in other misfortunes men think friends are
the only refuge. It helps the young, too,
to keep from error; it aids older people
by ministering to their needs and supplementing
the activities that are failing from weakness;
those in the prime of life it stimulates
to noble actions-'two going together'-for
with friends men are more able both to think
and to act. Again, parent seems by nature
to feel it for offspring and offspring for
parent, not only among men but among birds
and among most animals; it is felt mutually
by members of the same race, and especially
by men, whence we praise lovers of their
fellowmen. We may even in our travels how
near and dear every man is to every other.
Friendship seems too to hold states together,
and lawgivers to care more for it than for
justice; for unanimity seems to be something
like friendship, and this they aim at most
of all, and expel faction as their worst
enemy; and when men are friends they have
no need of justice, while when they are just
they need friendship as well, and the truest
form of justice is thought to be a friendly
quality.
But it is not only necessary but also noble;
for we praise those who love their friends,
and it is thought to be a fine thing to have
many friends; and again we think it is the
same people that are good men and are friends.
Not a few things about friendship are matters
of debate. Some define it as a kind of likeness
and say like people are friends, whence come
the sayings 'like to like', 'birds of a feather
flock together', and so on; others on the
contrary say 'two of a trade never agree'.
On this very question they inquire for deeper
and more physical causes, Euripides saying
that 'parched earth loves the rain, and stately
heaven when filled with rain loves to fall
to earth', and Heraclitus that 'it is what
opposes that helps' and 'from different tones
comes the fairest tune' and 'all things are
produced through strife'; while Empedocles,
as well as others, expresses the opposite
view that like aims at like. The physical
problems we may leave alone (for they do
not belong to the present inquiry); let us
examine those which are human and involve
character and feeling, e. g. whether friendship
can arise between any two people or people
cannot be friends if they are wicked, and
whether there is one species of friendship
or more than one. Those who think there is
only one because it admits of degrees have
relied on an inadequate indication; for even
things different in species admit of degree.
We have discussed this matter previously.
2
The kinds of friendship may perhaps be cleared
up if we first come to know the object of
love. For not everything seems to be loved
but only the lovable, and this is good, pleasant,
or useful; but it would seem to be that by
which some good or pleasure is produced that
is useful, so that it is the good and the
useful that are lovable as ends. Do men love,
then, the good, or what is good for them?
These sometimes clash. So too with regard
to the pleasant. Now it is thought that each
loves what is good for himself, and that
the good is without qualification lovable,
and what is good for each man is lovable
for him; but each man loves not what is good
for him but what seems good. This however
will make no difference; we shall just have
to say that this is 'that which seems lovable'.
Now there are three grounds on which people
love; of the love of lifeless objects we
do not use the word 'friendship'; for it
is not mutual love, nor is there a wishing
of good to the other (for it would surely
be ridiculous to wish wine well; if one wishes
anything for it, it is that it may keep,
so that one may have it oneself); but to
a friend we say we ought to wish what is
good for his sake. But to those who thus
wish good we ascribe only goodwill, if the
wish is not reciprocated; goodwill when it
is reciprocal being friendship. Or must we
add 'when it is recognized'? For many people
have goodwill to those whom they have not
seen but judge to be good or useful; and
one of these might return this feeling. These
people seem to bear goodwill to each other;
but how could one call them friends when
they do not know their mutual feelings? To
be friends, then, the must be mutually recognized
as bearing goodwill and wishing well to each
other for one of the aforesaid reasons.
3
Now these reasons differ from each other
in kind; so, therefore, do the corresponding
forms of love and friendship. There are therefore
three kinds of friendship, equal in number
to the things that are lovable; for with
respect to each there is a mutual and recognized
love, and those who love each other wish
well to each other in that respect in which
they love one another. Now those who love
each other for their utility do not love
each other for themselves but in virtue of
some good which they get from each other.
So too with those who love for the sake of
pleasure; it is not for their character that
men love ready-witted people, but because
they find them pleasant. Therefore those
who love for the sake of utility love for
the sake of what is good for themselves,
and those who love for the sake of pleasure
do so for the sake of what is pleasant to
themselves, and not in so far as the other
is the person loved but in so far as he is
useful or pleasant. And thus these friendships
are only incidental; for it is not as being
the man he is that the loved person is loved,
but as providing some good or pleasure. Such
friendships, then, are easily dissolved,
if the parties do not remain like themselves;
for if the one party is no longer pleasant
or useful the other ceases to love him.
Now the useful is not permanent but is always
changing. Thus when the motive of the friendship
is done away, the friendship is dissolved,
inasmuch as it existed only for the ends
in question. This kind of friendship seems
to exist chiefly between old people (for
at that age people pursue not the pleasant
but the useful) and, of those who are in
their prime or young, between those who pursue
utility. And such people do not live much
with each other either; for sometimes they
do not even find each other pleasant; therefore
they do not need such companionship unless
they are useful to each other; for they are
pleasant to each other only in so far as
they rouse in each other hopes of something
good to come. Among such friendships people
also class the friendship of a host and guest.
On the other hand the friendship of young
people seems to aim at pleasure; for they
live under the guidance of emotion, and pursue
above all what is pleasant to themselves
and what is immediately before them; but
with increasing age their pleasures become
different. This is why they quickly become
friends and quickly cease to be so; their
friendship changes with the object that is
found pleasant, and such pleasure alters
quickly. Young people are amorous too; for
the greater part of the friendship of love
depends on emotion and aims at pleasure;
this is why they fall in love and quickly
fall out of love, changing often within a
single day. But these people do wish to spend
their days and lives together; for it is
thus that they attain the purpose of their
friendship.
Perfect friendship is the friendship of men
who are good, and alike in virtue; for these
wish well alike to each other qua good, and
they are good themselves. Now those who wish
well to their friends for their sake are
most truly friends; for they do this by reason
of own nature and not incidentally; therefore
their friendship lasts as long as they are
good-and goodness is an enduring thing. And
each is good without qualification and to
his friend, for the good are both good without
qualification and useful to each other. So
too they are pleasant; for the good are pleasant
both without qualification and to each other,
since to each his own activities and others
like them are pleasurable, and the actions
of the good are the same or like. And such
a friendship is as might be expected permanent,
since there meet in it all the qualities
that friends should have. For all friendship
is for the sake of good or of pleasure-good
or pleasure either in the abstract or such
as will be enjoyed by him who has the friendly
feeling-and is based on a certain resemblance;
and to a friendship of good men all the qualities
we have named belong in virtue of the nature
of the friends themselves; for in the case
of this kind of friendship the other qualities
also are alike in both friends, and that
which is good without qualification is also
without qualification pleasant, and these
are the most lovable qualities. Love and
friendship therefore are found most and in
their best form between such men.
But it is natural that such friendships should
be infrequent; for such men are rare. Further,
such friendship requires time and familiarity;
as the proverb says, men cannot know each
other till they have 'eaten salt together';
nor can they admit each other to friendship
or be friends till each has been found lovable
and been trusted by each. Those who quickly
show the marks of friendship to each other
wish to be friends, but are not friends unless
they both are lovable and know the fact;
for a wish for friendship may arise quickly,
but friendship does not.
4
This kind of friendship, then, is perfect
both in respect of duration and in all other
respects, and in it each gets from each in
all respects the same as, or something like
what, he gives; which is what ought to happen
between friends. Friendship for the sake
of pleasure bears a resemblance to this kind;
for good people too are pleasant to each
other. So too does friendship for the sake
of utility; for the good are also useful
to each other. Among men of these inferior
sorts too, friendships are most permanent
when the friends get the same thing from
each other (e. g. pleasure), and not only
that but also from the same source, as happens
between readywitted people, not as happens
between lover and beloved. For these do not
take pleasure in the same things, but the
one in seeing the beloved and the other in
receiving attentions from his lover; and
when the bloom of youth is passing the friendship
sometimes passes too (for the one finds no
pleasure in the sight of the other, and the
other gets no attentions from the first);
but many lovers on the other hand are constant,
if familiarity has led them to love each
other's characters, these being alike. But
those who exchange not pleasure but utility
in their amour are both less truly friends
and less constant. Those who are friends
for the sake of utility part when the advantage
is at an end; for they were lovers not of
each other but of profit.
For the sake of pleasure or utility, then,
even bad men may be friends of each other,
or good men of bad, or one who is neither
good nor bad may be a friend to any sort
of person, but for their own sake clearly
only good men can be friends; for bad men
do not delight in each other unless some
advantage come of the relation.
The friendship of the good too and this alone
is proof against slander; for it is not easy
to trust any one talk about a man who has
long been tested by oneself; and it is among
good men that trust and the feeling that
'he would never wrong me' and all the other
things that are demanded in true friendship
are found. In the other kinds of friendship,
however, there is nothing to prevent these
evils arising. For men apply the name of
friends even to those whose motive is utility,
in which sense states are said to be friendly
(for the alliances of states seem to aim
at advantage), and to those who love each
other for the sake of pleasure, in which
sense children are called friends. Therefore
we too ought perhaps to call such people
friends, and say that there are several kinds
of friendship-firstly and in the proper sense
that of good men qua good, and by analogy
the other kinds; for it is in virtue of something
good and something akin to what is found
in true friendship that they are friends,
since even the pleasant is good for the lovers
of pleasure. But these two kinds of friendship
are not often united, nor do the same people
become friends for the sake of utility and
of pleasure; for things that are only incidentally
connected are not often coupled together.
Friendship being divided into these kinds,
bad men will be friends for the sake of pleasure
or of utility, being in this respect like
each other, but good men will be friends
for their own sake, i. e. in virtue of their
goodness. These, then, are friends without
qualification; the others are friends incidentally
and through a resemblance to these.
5
As in regard to the virtues some men are
called good in respect of a state of character,
others in respect of an activity, so too
in the case of friendship; for those who
live together delight in each other and confer
benefits on each other, but those who are
asleep or locally separated are not performing,
but are disposed to perform, the activities
of friendship; distance does not break off
the friendship absolutely, but only the activity
of it. But if the absence is lasting, it
seems actually to make men forget their friendship;
hence the saying 'out of sight, out of mind'.
Neither old people nor sour people seem to
make friends easily; for there is little
that is pleasant in them, and no one can
spend his days with one whose company is
painful, or not pleasant, since nature seems
above all to avoid the painful and to aim
at the pleasant. Those, however, who approve
of each other but do not live together seem
to be well-disposed rather than actual friends.
For there is nothing so characteristic of
friends as living together (since while it
people who are in need that desire benefits,
even those who are supremely happy desire
to spend their days together; for solitude
suits such people least of all); but people
cannot live together if they are not pleasant
and do not enjoy the same things, as friends
who are companions seem to do.
The truest friendship, then, is that of the
good, as we have frequently said; for that
which is without qualification good or pleasant
seems to be lovable and desirable, and for
each person that which is good or pleasant
to him; and the good man is lovable and desirable
to the good man for both these reasons. Now
it looks as if love were a feeling, friendship
a state of character; for love may be felt
just as much towards lifeless things, but
mutual love involves choice and choice springs
from a state of character; and men wish well
to those whom they love, for their sake,
not as a result of feeling but as a result
of a state of character. And in loving a
friend men love what is good for themselves;
for the good man in becoming a friend becomes
a good to his friend. Each, then, both loves
what is good for himself, and makes an equal
return in goodwill and in pleasantness; for
friendship is said to be equality, and both
of these are found most in the friendship
of the good.
6
Between sour and elderly people friendship
arises less readily, inasmuch as they are
less good-tempered and enjoy companionship
less; for these are thou to be the greatest
marks of friendship productive of it. This
is why, while men become friends quickly,
old men do not; it is because men do not
become friends with those in whom they do
not delight; and similarly sour people do
not quickly make friends either. But such
men may bear goodwill to each other; for
they wish one another well and aid one another
in need; but they are hardly friends because
they do not spend their days together nor
delight in each other, and these are thought
the greatest marks of friendship.
One cannot be a friend to many people in
the sense of having friendship of the perfect
type with them, just as one cannot be in
love with many people at once (for love is
a sort of excess of feeling, and it is the
nature of such only to be felt towards one
person); and it is not easy for many people
at the same time to please the same person
very greatly, or perhaps even to be good
in his eyes. One must, too, acquire some
experience of the other person and become
familiar with him, and that is very hard.
But with a view to utility or pleasure it
is possible that many people should please
one; for many people are useful or pleasant,
and these services take little time.
Of these two kinds that which is for the
sake of pleasure is the more like friendship,
when both parties get the same things from
each other and delight in each other or in
the things, as in the friendships of the
young; for generosity is more found in such
friendships. Friendship based on utility
is for the commercially minded. People who
are supremely happy, too, have no need of
useful friends, but do need pleasant friends;
for they wish to live with some one and,
though they can endure for a short time what
is painful, no one could put up with it continuously,
nor even with the Good itself if it were
painful to him; this is why they look out
for friends who are pleasant. Perhaps they
should look out for friends who, being pleasant,
are also good, and good for them too; for
so they will have all the characteristics
that friends should have.
People in positions of authority seem to
have friends who fall into distinct classes;
some people are useful to them and others
are pleasant, but the same people are rarely
both; for they seek neither those whose pleasantness
is accompanied by virtue nor those whose
utility is with a view to noble objects,
but in their desire for pleasure they seek
for ready-witted people, and their other
friends they choose as being clever at doing
what they are told, and these characteristics
are rarely combined. Now we have said that
the good man is at the same time pleasant
and useful; but such a man does not become
the friend of one who surpasses him in station,
unless he is surpassed also in virtue; if
this is not so, he does not establish equality
by being proportionally exceeded in both
respects. But people who surpass him in both
respects are not so easy to find.
However that may be, the aforesaid friendships
involve equality; for the friends get the
same things from one another and wish the
same things for one another, or exchange
one thing for another, e. g. pleasure for
utility; we have said, however, that they
are both less truly friendships and less
permanent.
But it is from their likeness and their unlikeness
to the same thing that they are thought both
to be and not to be friendships. It is by
their likeness to the friendship of virtue
that they seem to be friendships (for one
of them involves pleasure and the other utility,
and these characteristics belong to the friendship
of virtue as well); while it is because the
friendship of virtue is proof against slander
and permanent, while these quickly change
(besides differing from the former in many
other respects), that they appear not to
be friendships; i. e. it is because of their
unlikeness to the friendship of virtue.
7
But there is another kind of friendship,
viz. that which involves an inequality between
the parties, e. g. that of father to son
and in general of elder to younger, that
of man to wife and in general that of ruler
to subject. And these friendships differ
also from each other; for it is not the same
that exists between parents and children
and between rulers and subjects, nor is even
that of father to son the same as that of
son to father, nor that of husband to wife
the same as that of wife to husband. For
the virtue and the function of each of these
is different, and so are the reasons for
which they love; the love and the friendship
are therefore different also. Each party,
then, neither gets the same from the other,
nor ought to seek it; but when children render
to parents what they ought to render to those
who brought them into the world, and parents
render what they should to their children,
the friendship of such persons will be abiding
and excellent. In all friendships implying
inequality the love also should be proportional,
i. e. the better should be more loved than
he loves, and so should the more useful,
and similarly in each of the other cases;
for when the love is in proportion to the
merit of the parties, then in a sense arises
equality, which is certainly held to be characteristic
of friendship.
But equality does not seem to take the same
form in acts of justice and in friendship;
for in acts of justice what is equal in the
primary sense is that which is in proportion
to merit, while quantitative equality is
secondary, but in friendship quantitative
equality is primary and proportion to merit
secondary. This becomes clear if there is
a great interval in respect of virtue or
vice or wealth or anything else between the
parties; for then they are no longer friends,
and do not even expect to be so. And this
is most manifest in the case of the gods;
for they surpass us most decisively in all
good things. But it is clear also in the
case of kings; for with them, too, men who
are much their inferiors do not expect to
be friends; nor do men of no account expect
to be friends with the best or wisest men.
In such cases it is not possible to define
exactly up to what point friends can remain
friends; for much can be taken away and friendship
remain, but when one party is removed to
a great distance, as God is, the possibility
of friendship ceases. This is in fact the
origin of the question whether friends really
wish for their friends the greatest goods,
e. g. that of being gods; since in that case
their friends will no longer be friends to
them, and therefore will not be good things
for them (for friends are good things). The
answer is that if we were right in saying
that friend wishes good to friend for his
sake, his friend must remain the sort of
being he is, whatever that may be; therefore
it is for him oily so long as he remains
a man that he will wish the greatest goods.
But perhaps not all the greatest goods; for
it is for himself most of all that each man
wishes what is good.
8
Most people seem, owing to ambition, to wish
to be loved rather than to love; which is
why most men love flattery; for the flatterer
is a friend in an inferior position, or pretends
to be such and to love more than he is loved;
and being loved seems to be akin to being
honoured, and this is what most people aim
at. But it seems to be not for its own sake
that people choose honour, but incidentally.
For most people enjoy being honoured by those
in positions of authority because of their
hopes (for they think that if they want anything
they will get it from them; and therefore
they delight in honour as a token of favour
to come); while those who desire honour from
good men, and men who know, are aiming at
confirming their own opinion of themselves;
they delight in honour, therefore, because
they believe in their own goodness on the
strength of the judgement of those who speak
about them. In being loved, on the other
hand, people delight for its own sake; whence
it would seem to be better than being honoured,
and friendship to be desirable in itself.
But it seems to lie in loving rather than
in being loved, as is indicated by the delight
mothers take in loving; for some mothers
hand over their children to be brought up,
and so long as they know their fate they
love them and do not seek to be loved in
return (if they cannot have both), but seem
to be satisfied if they see them prospering;
and they themselves love their children even
if these owing to their ignorance give them
nothing of a mother's due. Now since friendship
depends more on loving, and it is those who
love their friends that are praised, loving
seems to be the characteristic virtue of
friends, so that it is only those in whom
this is found in due measure that are lasting
friends, and only their friendship that endures.
It is in this way more than any other that
even unequals can be friends; they can be
equalized. Now equality and likeness are
friendship, and especially the likeness of
those who are like in virtue; for being steadfast
in themselves they hold fast to each other,
and neither ask nor give base services, but
(one may say) even prevent them; for it is
characteristic of good men neither to go
wrong themselves nor to let their friends
do so. But wicked men have no steadfastness
(for they do not remain even like to themselves),
but become friends for a short time because
they delight in each other's wickedness.
Friends who are useful or pleasant last longer;
i. e. as long as they provide each other
with enjoyments or advantages. Friendship
for utility's sake seems to be that which
most easily exists between contraries, e.
g. between poor and rich, between ignorant
and learned; for what a man actually lacks
he aims at, and one gives something else
in return. But under this head, too, might
bring lover and beloved, beautiful and ugly.
This is why lovers sometimes seem ridiculous,
when they demand to be loved as they love;
if they are equally lovable their claim can
perhaps be justified, but when they have
nothing lovable about them it is ridiculous.
Perhaps, however, contrary does not even
aim at contrary by its own nature, but only
incidentally, the desire being for what is
intermediate; for that is what is good, e.
g. it is good for the dry not to become wet
but to come to the intermediate state, and
similarly with the hot and in all other cases.
These subjects we may dismiss; for they are
indeed somewhat foreign to our inquiry.
9
Friendship and justice seem, as we have said
at the outset of our discussion, to be concerned
with the same objects and exhibited between
the same persons. For in every community
there is thought to be some form of justice,
and friendship too; at least men address
as friends their fellow-voyagers and fellowsoldiers,
and so too those associated with them in
any other kind of community. And the extent
of their association is the extent of their
friendship, as it is the extent to which
justice exists between them. And the proverb
'what friends have is common property' expresses
the truth; for friendship depends on community.
Now brothers and comrades have all things
in common, but the others to whom we have
referred have definite things in common-some
more things, others fewer; for of friendships,
too, some are more and others less truly
friendships. And the claims of justice differ
too; the duties of parents to children, and
those of brothers to each other are not the
same, nor those of comrades and those of
fellow-citizens, and so, too, with the other
kinds of friendship. There is a difference,
therefore, also between the acts that are
unjust towards each of these classes of associates,
and the injustice increases by being exhibited
towards those who are friends in a fuller
sense; e. g. it is a more terrible thing
to defraud a comrade than a fellow-citizen,
more terrible not to help a brother than
a stranger, and more terrible to wound a
father than any one else. And the demands
of justice also seem to increase with the
intensity of the friendship, which implies
that friendship and justice exist between
the same persons and have an equal extension.
Now all forms of community are like parts
of the political community; for men journey
together with a view to some particular advantage,
and to provide something that they need for
the purposes of life; and it is for the sake
of advantage that the political community
too seems both to have come together originally
and to endure, for this is what legislators
aim at, and they call just that which is
to the common advantage. Now the other communities
aim at advantage bit by bit, e. g. sailors
at what is advantageous on a voyage with
a view to making money or something of the
kind, fellow-soldiers at what is advantageous
in war, whether it is wealth or victory or
the taking of a city that they seek, and
members of tribes and demes act similarly
(Some communities seem to arise for the sake
or pleasure, viz. religious guilds and social
clubs; for these exist respectively for the
sake of offering sacrifice and of companionship.
But all these seem to fall under the political
community; for it aims not at present advantage
but at what is advantageous for life as a
whole), offering sacrifices and arranging
gatherings for the purpose, and assigning
honours to the gods, and providing pleasant
relaxations for themselves. For the ancient
sacrifices and gatherings seem to take place
after the harvest as a sort of firstfruits,
because it was at these seasons that people
had most leisure. All the communities, then,
seem to be parts of the political community;
and the particular kinds friendship will
correspond to the particular kinds of community.
10
There are three kinds of constitution, and
an equal number of deviation-forms--perversions,
as it were, of them. The constitutions are
monarchy, aristocracy, and thirdly that which
is based on a property qualification, which
it seems appropriate to call timocratic,
though most people are wont to call it polity.
The best of these is monarchy, the worst
timocracy. The deviation from monarchy is
tyrany; for both are forms of one-man rule,
but there is the greatest difference between
them; the tyrant looks to his own advantage,
the king to that of his subjects. For a man
is not a king unless he is sufficient to
himself and excels his subjects in all good
things; and such a man needs nothing further;
therefore he will not look to his own interests
but to those of his subjects; for a king
who is not like that would be a mere titular
king. Now tyranny is the very contrary of
this; the tyrant pursues his own good. And
it is clearer in the case of tyranny that
it is the worst deviation-form; but it is
the contrary of the best that is worst. Monarchy
passes over into tyranny; for tyranny is
the evil form of one-man rule and the bad
king becomes a tyrant. Aristocracy passes
over into oligarchy by the badness of the
rulers, who distribute contrary to equity
what belongs to the city-all or most of the
good things to themselves, and office always
to the same people, paying most regard to
wealth; thus the rulers are few and are bad
men instead of the most worthy. Timocracy
passes over into democracy; for these are
coterminous, since it is the ideal even of
timocracy to be the rule of the majority,
and all who have the property qualification
count as equal. Democracy is the least bad
of the deviations; for in its case the form
of constitution is but a slight deviation.
These then are the changes to which constitutions
are most subject; for these are the smallest
and easiest transitions.
One may find resemblances to the constitutions
and, as it were, patterns of them even in
households. For the association of a father
with his sons bears the form of monarchy,
since the father cares for his children;
and this is why Homer calls Zeus 'father';
it is the ideal of monarchy to be paternal
rule. But among the Persians the rule of
the father is tyrannical; they use their
sons as slaves. Tyrannical too is the rule
of a master over slaves; for it is the advantage
of the master that is brought about in it.
Now this seems to be a correct form of government,
but the Persian type is perverted; for the
modes of rule appropriate to different relations
are diverse. The association of man and wife
seems to be aristocratic; for the man rules
in accordance with his worth, and in those
matters in which a man should rule, but the
matters that befit a woman he hands over
to her. If the man rules in everything the
relation passes over into oligarchy; for
in doing so he is not acting in accordance
with their respective worth, and not ruling
in virtue of his superiority. Sometimes,
however, women rule, because they are heiresses;
so their rule is not in virtue of excellence
but due to wealth and power, as in oligarchies.
The association of brothers is like timocracy;
for they are equal, except in so far as they
differ in age; hence if they differ much
in age, the friendship is no longer of the
fraternal type. Democracy is found chiefly
in masterless dwellings (for here every one
is on an equality), and in those in which
the ruler is weak and every one has licence
to do as he pleases.
11
Each of the constitutions may be seen to
involve friendship just in so far as it involves
justice. The friendship between a king and
his subjects depends on an excess of benefits
conferred; for he confers benefits on his
subjects if being a good man he cares for
them with a view to their well-being, as
a shepherd does for his sheep (whence Homer
called Agamemnon 'shepherd of the peoples').
Such too is the friendship of a father, though
this exceeds the other in the greatness of
the benefits conferred; for he is responsible
for the existence of his children, which
is thought the greatest good, and for their
nurture and upbringing.
These things are ascribed to ancestors as
well. Further, by nature a father tends to
rule over his sons, ancestors over descendants,
a king over his subjects. These friendships
imply superiority of one party over the other,
which is why ancestors are honoured. The
justice therefore that exists between persons
so related is not the same on both sides
but is in every case proportioned to merit;
for that is true of the friendship as well.
The friendship of man and wife, again, is
the same that is found in an aristocracy;
for it is in accordance with virtue the better
gets more of what is good, and each gets
what befits him; and so, too, with the justice
in these relations. The friendship of brothers
is like that of comrades; for they are equal
and of like age, and such persons are for
the most part like in their feelings and
their character. Like this, too, is the friendship
appropriate to timocratic government; for
in such a constitution the ideal is for the
citizens to be equal and fair; therefore
rule is taken in turn, and on equal terms;
and the friendship appropriate here will
correspond.
But in the deviation-forms, as justice hardly
exists, so too does friendship. It exists
least in the worst form; in tyranny there
is little or no friendship. For where there
is nothing common to ruler and ruled, there
is not friendship either, since there is
not justice; e. g. between craftsman and
tool, soul and body, master and slave; the
latter in each case is benefited by that
which uses it, but there is no friendship
nor justice towards lifeless things. But
neither is there friendship towards a horse
or an ox, nor to a slave qua slave. For there
is nothing common to the two parties; the
slave is a living tool and the tool a lifeless
slave. Qua slave then, one cannot be friends
with him. But qua man one can; for there
seems to be some justice between any man
and any other who can share in a system of
law or be a party to an agreement; therefore
there can also be friendship with him in
so far as he is a man. Therefore while in
tyrannies friendship and justice hardly exist,
in democracies they exist more fully; for
where the citizens are equal they have much
in common.
12
Every form of friendship, then, involves
association, as has been said. One might,
however, mark off from the rest both the
friendship of kindred and that of comrades.
Those of fellow-citizens, fellow-tribesmen,
fellow-voyagers, and the like are more like
mere friendships of association; for they
seem to rest on a sort of compact. With them
we might class the friendship of host and
guest. The friendship of kinsmen itself,
while it seems to be of many kinds, appears
to depend in every case on parental friendship;
for parents love their children as being
a part of themselves, and children their
parents as being something originating from
them. Now (1) arents know their offspring
better than there children know that they
are their children, and (2) the originator
feels his offspring to be his own more than
the offspring do their begetter; for the
product belongs to the producer (e. g. a
tooth or hair or anything else to him whose
it is), but the producer does not belong
to the product, or belongs in a less degree.
And (3) the length of time produces the same
result; parents love their children as soon
as these are born, but children love their
parents only after time has elapsed and they
have acquired understanding or the power
of discrimination by the senses. From these
considerations it is also plain why mothers
love more than fathers do. Parents, then,
love their children as themselves (for their
issue are by virtue of their separate existence
a sort of other selves), while children love
their parents as being born of them, and
brothers love each other as being born of
the same parents; for their identity with
them makes them identical with each other
(which is the reason why people talk of 'the
same blood', 'the same stock', and so on).
They are, therefore, in a sense the same
thing, though in separate individuals. Two
things that contribute greatly to friendship
are a common upbringing and similarity of
age; for 'two of an age take to each other',
and people brought up together tend to be
comrades; whence the friendship of brothers
is akin to that of comrades. And cousins
and other kinsmen are bound up together by
derivation from brothers, viz. by being derived
from the same parents. They come to be closer
together or farther apart by virtue of the
nearness or distance of the original ancestor.
The friendship of children to parents, and
of men to gods, is a relation to them as
to something good and superior; for they
have conferred the greatest benefits, since
they are the causes of their being and of
their nourishment, and of their education
from their birth; and this kind of friendship
possesses pleasantness and utility also,
more than that of strangers, inasmuch as
their life is lived more in common. The friendship
of brothers has the characteristics found
in that of comrades (and especially when
these are good), and in general between people
who are like each other, inasmuch as they
belong more to each other and start with
a love for each other from their very birth,
and inasmuch as those born of the same parents
and brought up together and similarly educated
are more akin in character; and the test
of time has been applied most fully and convincingly
in their case.
Between other kinsmen friendly relations
are found in due proportion. Between man
and wife friendship seems to exist by nature;
for man is naturally inclined to form couples-even
more than to form cities, inasmuch as the
household is earlier and more necessary than
the city, and reproduction is more common
to man with the animals. With the other animals
the union extends only to this point, but
human beings live together not only for the
sake of reproduction but also for the various
purposes of life; for from the start the
functions are divided, and those of man and
woman are different; so they help each other
by throwing their peculiar gifts into the
common stock. It is for these reasons that
both utility and pleasure seem to be found
in this kind of friendship. But this friendship
may be based also on virtue, if the parties
are good; for each has its own virtue and
they will delight in the fact. And children
seem to be a bond of union (which is the
reason why childless people part more easily);
for children are a good common to both and
what is common holds them together.
How man and wife and in general friend and
friend ought mutually to behave seems to
be the same question as how it is just for
them to behave; for a man does not seem to
have the same duties to a friend, a stranger,
a comrade, and a schoolfellow.
13
There are three kinds of friendship, as we
said at the outset of our inquiry, and in
respect of each some are friends on an equality
and others by virtue of a superiority (for
not only can equally good men become friends
but a better man can make friends with a
worse, and similarly in friendships of pleasure
or utility the friends may be equal or unequal
in the benefits they confer). This being
so, equals must effect the required equalization
on a basis of equality in love and in all
other respects, while unequals must render
what is in proportion to their superiority
or inferiority. Complaints and reproaches
arise either only or chiefly in the friendship
of utility, and this is only to be expected.
For those who are friends on the ground of
virtue are anxious to do well by each other
(since that is a mark of virtue and of friendship),
and between men who are emulating each other
in this there cannot be complaints or quarrels;
no one is offended by a man who loves him
and does well by him-if he is a person of
nice feeling he takes his revenge by doing
well by the other. And the man who excels
the other in the services he renders will
not complain of his friend, since he gets
what he aims at; for each man desires what
is good. Nor do complaints arise much even
in friendships of pleasure; for both get
at the same time what they desire, if they
enjoy spending their time together; and even
a man who complained of another for not affording
him pleasure would seem ridiculous, since
it is in his power not to spend his days
with him.
But the friendship of utility is full of
complaints; for as they use each other for
their own interests they always want to get
the better of the bargain, and think they
have got less than they should, and blame
their partners because they do not get all
they 'want and deserve'; and those who do
well by others cannot help them as much as
those whom they benefit want.
Now it seems that, as justice is of two kinds,
one unwritten and the other legal, one kind
of friendship of utility is moral and the
other legal. And so complaints arise most
of all when men do not dissolve the relation
in the spirit of the same type of friendship
in which they contracted it. The legal type
is that which is on fixed terms; its purely
commercial variety is on the basis of immediate
payment, while the more liberal variety allows
time but stipulates for a definite quid pro
quo. In this variety the debt is clear and
not ambiguous, but in the postponement it
contains an element of friendliness; and
so some states do not allow suits arising
out of such agreements, but think men who
have bargained on a basis of credit ought
to accept the consequences. The moral type
is not on fixed terms; it makes a gift, or
does whatever it does, as to a friend; but
one expects to receive as much or more, as
having not given but lent; and if a man is
worse off when the relation is dissolved
than he was when it was contracted he will
complain. This happens because all or most
men, while they wish for what is noble, choose
what is advantageous; now it is noble to
do well by another without a view to repayment,
but it is the receiving of benefits that
is advantageous. Therefore if we can we should
return the equivalent of what we have received
(for we must not make a man our friend against
his will; we must recognize that we were
mistaken at the first and took a benefit
from a person we should not have taken it
from-since it was not from a friend, nor
from one who did it just for the sake of
acting so-and we must settle up just as if
we had been benefited on fixed terms). Indeed,
one would agree to repay if one could (if
one could not, even the giver would not have
expected one to do so); therefore if it is
possible we must repay. But at the outset
we must consider the man by whom we are being
benefited and on what terms he is acting,
in order that we may accept the benefit on
these terms, or else decline it.
It is disputable whether we ought to measure
a service by its utility to the receiver
and make the return with a view to that,
or by the benevolence of the giver. For those
who have received say they have received
from their benefactors what meant little
to the latter and what they might have got
from others-minimizing the service; while
the givers, on the contrary, say it was the
biggest thing they had, and what could not
have been got from others, and that it was
given in times of danger or similar need.
Now if the friendship is one that aims at
utility, surely the advantage to the receiver
is the measure. For it is he that asks for
the service, and the other man helps him
on the assumption that he will receive the
equivalent; so the assistance has been precisely
as great as the advantage to the receiver,
and therefore he must return as much as he
has received, or even more (for that would
be nobler). In friendships based on virtue
on the other hand, complaints do not arise,
but the purpose of the doer is a sort of
measure; for in purpose lies the essential
element of virtue and character.
14
Differences arise also in friendships based
on superiority; for each expects to get more
out of them, but when this happens the friendship
is dissolved. Not only does the better man
think he ought to get more, since more should
be assigned to a good man, but the more useful
similarly expects this; they say a useless
man should not get as much as they should,
since it becomes an act of public service
and not a friendship if the proceeds of the
friendship do not answer to the worth of
the benefits conferred. For they think that,
as in a commercial partnership those who
put more in get more out, so it should be
in friendship. But the man who is in a state
of need and inferiority makes the opposite
claim; they think it is the part of a good
friend to help those who are in need; what,
they say, is the use of being the friend
of a good man or a powerful man, if one is
to get nothing out of it?
At all events it seems that each party is
justified in his claim, and that each should
get more out of the friendship than the other-not
more of the same thing, however, but the
superior more honour and the inferior more
gain; for honour is the prize of virtue and
of beneficence, while gain is the assistance
required by inferiority.
It seems to be so in constitutional arrangements
also; the man who contributes nothing good
to the common stock is not honoured; for
what belongs to the public is given to the
man who benefits the public, and honour does
belong to the public. It is not possible
to get wealth from the common stock and at
the same time honour. For no one puts up
with the smaller share in all things; therefore
to the man who loses in wealth they assign
honour and to the man who is willing to be
paid, wealth, since the proportion to merit
equalizes the parties and preserves the friendship,
as we have said. This then is also the way
in which we should associate with unequals;
the man who is benefited in respect of wealth
or virtue must give honour in return, repaying
what he can. For friendship asks a man to
do what he can, not what is proportional
to the merits of the case; since that cannot
always be done, e. g. in honours paid to
the gods or to parents; for no one could
ever return to them the equivalent of what
he gets, but the man who serves them to the
utmost of his power is thought to be a good
man. This is why it would not seem open to
a man to disown his father (though a father
may disown his son); being in debt, he should
repay, but there is nothing by doing which
a son will have done the equivalent of what
he has received, so that he is always in
debt. But creditors can remit a debt; and
a father can therefore do so too. At the
same time it is thought that presumably no
one would repudiate a son who was not far
gone in wickedness; for apart from the natural
friendship of father and son it is human
nature not to reject a son's assistance.
But the son, if he is wicked, will naturally
avoid aiding his father, or not be zealous
about it; for most people wish to get benefits,
but avoid doing them, as a thing unprofitable.-So
much for these questions.
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